🚨 OUTRAGE ALERT! 🚨

Commnity Satire

Folks, we have a serious problem in our community. Some people—brace yourselves—are out here doing the right thing. And frankly, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

Here’s what I’ve seen with my own two eyes:

🔴 Kids riding their bikes on the correct side of the road. Yep, these little rebels are actually following traffic laws. What’s next? Using hand signals? Wearing helmets? It’s madness, I tell you!

🔴 Drivers coming to a complete stop at stop signs. Ugh, we all know stop signs are just suggestions if you tap the brakes hard enough. But no—some people insist on actually obeying traffic laws and making sure nobody gets run over. The nerve.

🔴 Golf carts pulling over to let cars pass. Since when did we start respecting traffic flow? I miss the good old days of a full-speed, bumper-to-bumper, 12-cart parade down the main road, holding up traffic like a scene from a golf-themed Fast & Furious movie.

🔴 People picking up loose trash instead of complaining about it on Facebook. Can you believe this? Instead of angrily typing “WHOSE TRASH IS THIS?!” with 14 exclamation points, some folks just...pick it up? And throw it away? Without an argument? How are we supposed to generate outrage if people take personal responsibility?!

🔴 Neighbors being nice to each other. This one is the worst. Someone held a door open for me the other day and said “Good morning.” I was stunned. Where’s the passive-aggressive sighing? The dramatic eye rolls? The sarcastic comments about the HOA? What is this, a functioning society?!

Honestly, if this blatant act of kindness and rule-following continues, I don’t know how we’ll survive as a community. If you see someone considerate, respectful, or—heaven forbid—logical, please report them immediately so we can start an unnecessary argument in the comments.

Now, let’s all get back to what we do best: Complaining about the number of trash cans allowed per household. Because THAT is the real issue here.

🚨 End Rant. Discuss Below. 🚨